How to Get a Bikini Body

The fierce-ass women of Buzzfeed

Q: How do you get a bikini body?

A: Put a bikini on your body.

Yes, that's right, today we're talking about wearing tiny, neoprene pieces of fabric strapped to your body with strings. We love 'em and we hate 'em, but most important is how we look in 'em.

Except it's not important. Like, at all.

Look, when spring break rolls around and I'm looking for a swimsuit before my beach vacay, I feel just as self conscious as the next girl. Staring at my scantily clad self in a department store mirror lit by fluorescent bulbs is the perfect time to point out every wrinkle, hair, zit, or piece of flabby skin. And then I get home and try the swimsuit on again, and the cycle repeats itself because even though I might have better lighting, all those little imperfections are still there.

This is coming from a petite, healthy girl, the kind who's usually told that they're lucky to be so thin. But even so, swimsuit season is still a verifiable self-conscious hell for me. It's bad enough that I'll avoid going to the beach if I have a bacne breakout or I'll refuse to eat breakfast so that I don't look bloated. I shouldn't feel so ashamed of my body so as to prevent me from enjoying summer, and neither should anyone else, regardless of their body type.

So here's the deal. If you scroll down your Instagram feed, you'll see countless fashion bloggers, celebrities, and models rocking itty-bitty bikinis with a side of six pack. I'm sorry, but most of us aren't Hannah Bronfman, and no amount of working out will make us look like that! All those faces you see in the media represent an idealistic body type that represents like .001% of women in society. The other 99.999% are just as beautiful, in their own amazing way.

A bikini body is a body with a bikini on it. That's it. Every body is beautiful; it's the physical vehicle for your soul, your heart, your brain, YOU. We should treat our bodies with the utmost respect, and we should flaunt it as our greatest asset. And whatever swimsuit feels comfortable on your body is the right swimsuit for you. Don't skip on that string bikini because you're worried other people are going to think you're ugly! Wear whatever makes you feel the sexiest to the beach, and screw everyone else! Your body exists only to please you and no one else, and if that little bandeau top is what makes you feel the most confident, go for it!

Now I know this is easier said than done; like I said, I've been there, I've struggled with body image as much as the next girl. It's a process, learning to accept and love your body. Society expects us to conform to a certain, pretty unrealistic beauty standard and it's hard to comfortably choose to deviate from that standard. But don't let some Twitter comment or Facebook message tell you you're not beautiful the way you are, because you're gorgeous, inside and out. And even though I can't see you through my computer screen, I know you're beautiful regardless of what society and haters tell you.

Some Oldies, Some Goodies

My vinyls and some antique buys

Last Saturday I decided to check out a local record store, Hip Cat Records. Not going to lie, the sketchy looking storefront has deterred me from stopping by before, even though I drive past the store pretty frequently. However, after talking to people who had been there before, I finally decided to stop by and check my record luck.

And lucky I was. I wasn't really looking for anything in particular (though I've been searching for David Bowie's Hunky Dory for a while now)so I kind of just perused the various bins until and picked up anything that looked interesting. I ended up leaving with five albums for under $20. Pretty impressive, huh?

Fleetwood Mac: Rumours

Okay, so I'm definitely a music enthusiast, but I've never really given Fleetwood Mac a listen until buying this album. I know, it's literally a sin! Stevie Nicks is a goddess and all but somehow I never ended up listening to Fleetwood Mac. Well, Rumours, their most well-known album, definitely converted me into a hard core Fleetwood Mac fan. The ethereal voice of Stevie Nicks just transports you to a world of sprawling green plains and all your worries just disappear. This album is the perfect 1970s rock confection and I'm so glad I bought it.

John Lennon and Yoko Ono: Double Fantasy

This album is adorable and totally gives me romantic feels. An equal parts rock and avant garde collaboration between husband and wife, the album feels like a dialogue between two lovers. Despite having been released just before John Lennon's death, the album carries the lilt of newlyweds, innocent and still deeply in love. It's candid and different and beautiful in its own strange way.

Simon and Garfunkel: Bridge Over Troubled Water 

Bridge Over Troubled Water is easily my favorite Simon and Garfunkel album, mostly because it contains the songs "El Condor Pasa" and "The Boxer." I'm easily wooed by soft vocals and guitars of folk rock (hello, Of Monsters and Men!)but Simon and Garfunkel's masterful lyrics add a new layer to this wonderful record. I'm glad to finally own it on vinyl because it has the perfect sound for a scratchy record: slightly imperfect yet captivatingly endearing.

Soundtrack to "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid"

If you haven't watched this movie, please go and do so right now. It's amazing! Anyways, the soundtrack to the film is just as good and for only 25 cents, I had to pick it up. It's not really the kind of album I'd listen to a lot, simply because I'm not a huge soundtrack listener, but I had to have it.

Soundtrack to "Mame"

Mame is my all-time favorite musical, yet almost no one knows what it is. I stumbled upon it while searching for music for an ice skating routine (yes I was once a figure skater) and ended up watching the whole Lucille Ball movie on Youtube. The songs are equally charming as its lead character, Auntie Mame. As far as musicals go, I think it's a total gem, so I'm super excited to own the Angela Lansbury (original Broadway) record.

That's just a quick snapshot of my most recent record haul. I love vinyl records and it's great that they're going through a renaissance right now! It's definitely a good way to resurrect some of the best old music!

Chit Chattin: Ellie

My wonderful picture of Aladdin Sane (David Bowie)

SS: Today instead of a normal blog post, we're having a conversation with my friend Ellie.

EK: I'm really excited for this blog post.

SS: Me too. <3. I like what you have to say and you're pretty interesting and our conversations are weird and interesting. So here we are in my messy bedroom, post (12 hour)craft bonanza, listening to David Bowie and talking. Hopefully we can make a series out of this.

EK: Me too! Series can continue indefinitely, much like the "Young and the Restless" and the like.

SS: And "Downton Abbey." Even after they kill the best characters.

EK: Sybil! I'm literally dead from that episode. What are we talking about, Steph? Cause I like talking about things. Weren't we going to talk about music? Isn't that the overall theme? Ugh and you're sitting and I'm lying here with my face smushed in your bed.

SS: ...

EK: Omg that was like stream of consciousness we're basically Faulkner. Don't write that.

SS: Sorry I did. It was too good.

EK: So, music.

SS: So, music. What do we have to say about music?

EK: Probably more than anyone cares to here us say.

SS: We were talking about weird alternative lyrics.

EK: What was my favorite one earlier?

SS: It was "A friend told me they put nicotine in the apples," from Courtney Barnett.

EK: Yeah, I also like "Blue, blue, electric blue, that's the color of my room where I would live." That's kind of a weird one.

SS: Ugh this Spotify ad is killing my vibe.

EK: This Spotify ad is killing my vibe, or Steph's vibe, or maybe we have the same vibe.

SS: We actually might have the same vibe. Considering we got the same tea today and everything. And we both didn't wear Bowie shirts to the Fourth of July because we both thought it was unpatriotic.

EK: And we both called corn majestic.

SS: That's how we know we're from the Mid West.

EK: Mid West, Mid Best. Okay on music again, "Song for Bob Dylan" is the reason Hunky Dory is not my favorite David Bowie album (we're listening to it right now).

SS: Yeah, but Hunky Dory is still my solid number three.

EK: It's my number 2, after Ziggy. Hunky Dory has the best opening of an album. It has "Changes," "Oh, You Pretty Things!" and "Life on Mars" in the first four tracks.

SS: No Ziggy Stardust has the best opening! It's so good!

EK: No Ziggy has the best song and the best closing! But wait, "Five Years" opens Ziggy...Ugh that's pretty good too! But not as good as Hunky Dory?

SS:  It's more cohesive than Hunky Dory. I like that.

EK:  Wait it's "Five Years," "Soul Love," "Moorage Daydream," and "Starman." Okay I guess Ziggy can get the best opening because the third track is better than on Hunky Dory. We have too many feelings about this, Steph.

SS: We do, that's why we're awesome, and also why nobody really reads this blog, eh? Well, okay, like 30 people read it.

EK: That's more people than who read my Tumblr.

SS: Who reads on Tumblr?

EK: Me. 

SS: Well then. 

EK: Let's talk about Lollapalooza, now that we've had a short, brief discussion about David.

SS: Yes, let's. And about how pissed we are that Stream won't be there anymore.

EK: Ugh Stromae! Okay let's talk about who we're excited to see so that we're not super negative even though we were super sad when we found out that Stromae won't be there. Deep breaths, Steph, deep breaths.

SS: (Pretending to be Stromae) Ooooh Formidable! I can't French. That was a marvelous hair whip, by the way.

EK: I think it was a pretty good one, top ten hair flips by the way.

SS: Anyways, Lolla. I'm so excited for Florence and the Machine. She is literally my girl crush.

EK:  "What Kind of Man" is my song right now. I play it on repeat. I don't know why, it's just great. That whole album just is.

SS: I think that every Florence album is beautifully written.

EK: I wasn't Florence fan before this album.

SS: I think this is very different. It's definitely more grounded and tangible than previous albums, with a stronger rock feel. But you can still tell it's Florence by the vocals and by the religiously and mythologically themed lyrics. This is also the album that establishes her more as a solo singer with a backup band than as a band. Okay that was my spiel.

EK: We're pretty excited about George Ezra. Mostly because our friend M. wants to marry him.

SS: We'll stalk him and make sure he gives her a ring.

EK: I'm excited about Circa Waves but I'm not going to be there. I really liked their EP.

SS: Don't worry I'll record them for you. I'm just excited that the stage Florence is on on Sunday is the pretty much the same stage for all the acts that I want to see.

EK: Yeah and George! George and I are on a first name basis.

SS: Aren't we all?

EK: We're seeing Of Monsters and Men and Twenty One Pilots. Sunday's just a good day. We're also pumped for Alt-J and Tame Impala.

SS: I can't wait to see the Alabama Shakes. And to throw my bra at Brittany Howard. That is just a joke but she's a boss ass female and literally the coolest person ever.

EK: Except for David. 

SS: Well yeah there's always David. He's the best. I think we should wrap up. It's like 10:30 at night and I've been awake for 12 hours which is an abomination because no coffee was involved today. Thanks for chatting with me, Ellie! We should do this again soon!

EK: Thanks for having me! This is fantastic, we just got to rant about music!

SS: Yeah for sure! Well, till next time!

Masturdating

Photo via imgur.com

Masturdating (n.): the process of taking yourself out to do something nice and pleasing for yourself without the company or assistance of others.

Origins: mash-up of the words "masturbate" and "dating."

That's right. It's perfectly acceptable to do things alone, and actually enjoy them! Who would've thought that actually treating yourself well and with the love you'd treat an SO is okay?

I recently discovered the word masturdating while perusing the dark miasma that is the internet, and I learned that I was a serial masturdater! I've blogged about treating yo self before, but this is like the actual action of doing so. Masturdating is a great way to show yourself some love, clear your head, and also a way to go out and enjoy life without having to wait for anybody else. There's a play you want to see but your friends are busy? Treat yourself to a masturdate! Want to try a new sushi restaurant? Make it a masturdate! Here's a list of some of my favorite ways to masturdate that I think y'all should try.

Take yourself out to coffee
The simplest masturdate is the best masturdate. I like to frequent an independent local coffee shop, or if I really want to be alone, make my way to Chicago and find a cool new coffee shop there. I just bring along a good book, my moleskin, and some pens, and just sit and let my thoughts ruminate. It's a lovely time.

Go to an art museum
One of my biggest pet peeves with going to art museums with friends is that we all walk through the galleries at a different pace, so someone is always rushing me when I want to take my damn time looking at Magritte. So, I just started going to museums alone! This gives me the freedom to see what I want, when I want, and just enjoy the peaceful and quiet company of my friends Renoir and Botticelli. 

Go to the theater
Sometimes it's a lot easier to enjoy a play with no one whispering in your ear the whole time. Find some cheap tickets on a site like Hot Tix or whatnot and treat yourself to an evening at the theater! It's an opportunity to see the shop front theater company in action or see a musical before it heads to broadway.

Take a class or attend a lecture
I've done a whole range of classes on my own, whether it be a zine making class or a lecture on genome sequencing. Going out and learning a new skill or listening to a renowned speaker is a fun way to relax and broaden your horizons without being held back by uninterested friends.

These are just a few of my ideas for a good ole masturdate. What am I doing for my next masturdate? I don't know yet! Maybe I'll go try that cross-stitching class I've been eyeing for a while...

Founding Mothers

Gif via imgur.com

Happy 239th birthday, 'Murica! Hope you have a great and prosperous year ahead, and I look forward to celebrating your 240th with you as well!

On July 4th, we'll be celebrating the independence of a country that more than 300 million people call home with noisy explosions, smoke-filled cook outs, a fair amount of John Phillips Sousa, and a tornado of red, white, and blue. We'll be celebrating the founding fathers who signed our Declaration of Independence, claiming our sovereignty from England, and instigating a war in which we reigned victorious. But behind every strong man, there's an even stronger woman.

So where are our founding mothers?

Well, they're out there, and they're not all from 1776, but this Fourth of July I'm going to celebrate these boss ass women and you should too.

Abigail Adams
The driving force behind John Adams, president of the United States after George Washington, was his wife, Abigail. Abigail Adams was his rock; when John Adams was away practicing law or working to free America, Abigail raised her family, managed a farm and household finances, and held a quasi-official government position in which she was responsible for finding and exposing British-sympathizing women. Furthermore she was a huge women's rights activist, calling for equal public education for girls. Through her letters to her husband, she became his top advisor and heavily influenced many of his policies to the point that she was called Mrs. President.

Image via the New York Times

Deborah Sampson
Deborah Sampson is basically your American Mulan. In May of 1781, Sampson arrived at West Point in New York dressed like a man and was quickly issued an army uniform by the revolutionaries. She fought in the war for two years until she suffered a sword injury to the head and a musket ball injury to the thigh. In order to prevent the doctor from discovering her true sex, she did a lil DIY surgery to remove the musket ball from her leg. Unfortunately, she became feverish from an infection and during treatment it was discovered that she was a woman. Regardless, she was discharged from the army with honor, given a soldier's pension and a plot of land, and her widow was given pay for being the spouse of a soldier.

Image via sherooftheweek.com

Phillis Wheatley
Despite being a slave, Phillis Wheatley was one of the best known poets towards the end of the 18th century. Even though she grew up a slave, she grew up in a kind household that provided her with an education. On top of being the first African American woman and second American woman to publish a book, Wheatley's poetry fomented support for the revolutionary cause, even gaining George Washington's notice. Her poetry shaped the future abolitionist movement as it exposed white Americans to the intelligence of blacks as well as to their point of view.

Image via the Poetry Foundation

Deborah Read Franklin
Ben Franklin was a pretty awesome dude, but his wife was even cooler. At the beginning of Benjamin Franklin's political career, Deborah managed their stationary shop as well as their general store, selling items such as soap and tea. Ben was named the Post Master General of the colonies, but since he was on frequent leave of absence to fulfill his political duties, the colonies really had a post mistress in the form of Deborah, who ran the post office system. If it wasn't for her holding up the fort on the home and business front, Ben Franklin wouldn't have had the capacity to have been as powerful and as vocal of a figure in the American Revolution as he was.

Image via revolutionary-war.net

There are so many other amazing women who have shaped this nation's history, and unfortunately they get thrown under the bus (or horse and buggy) way too often. These sheroes are a huge inspiration to me, and this Fourth of July, they deserve their shout out too.

The Fight Isn't Over

Map via lgbtmap.org

Never have I been more consumed with joy for others as this past week when the Supreme Court legalized gay marriage in the United States. Even though I missed Chicago Pride this year, the positive energy was palpable in the air.

But though the battle may be won, the fight isn't over.

Marriage equality is a crucial milestone in this nation's fight for equality. However, marriage equality is only one of the many rights the LGBTQ+ community is fighting for. Unless we fight for those rights too, we'll never reach true equality.

For starters, as excellent as homosexual marriage is, it's still going to be an institution largely accessible to only gay white men. Marriage isn't cheap; even if you're nuptials are being held at the circuit court, there are fees and hoops you have to go through. Furthermore, in more rural areas where courts are far and wide, gay marriage is less accessible. Due to racial and gender privilege, gay white men are more likely to live in an affluent area and have the means to afford a marriage. In the LGBTQ+ community, gay white men are the closest thing to society's ideal human: a heterosexual, cisgendered, white male. As a result, they are the most palatable part of the LGBTQ+ community to the cis-hetero public, and thus it is their rights that are championed the most vehemently. 

Photo via the Human Rights Campaign

The Human Rights Campaign, the so-called cornerstone of LGBTQ+ activism, is itself fraught with inequality. It employs mostly cis-gendered white gays and lesbians, which results in an advocacy lacking in intersectionality. Marriage has become the cornerstone of their equality campaign, ignoring issues such as LGBTQ+ youth homelessness and the trans stigma. They might claim that the fight for equality is nearly there, but here's a taste of some of the issues we need to resolve to achieve true equality.

Ending Employment discrimination laws
Just because gay people can get married, doesn't mean that they're not discriminated against in the workplace. Somewhere between 19-43 percent of gay people experience discrimination or harassment in the workplace, and a whopping 90% of trans people report being harassed at work. Furthermore, LGBTQ+ people can be fired or not considered for a job on basis of their sexual or gender orientation. Only 21 states have any protection from such discrimination, meaning that in the majority of the U.S. LGBTQ+ people have little to no job security on the basis of their identity.

Graphic via equalitymatters.org

Busting the Trans Stigma
Even though we're going through a wonderful transgender acceptance moment right now, there's still a huge stigma surrounding the trans community. The trans community experiences the highest rate of hate crimes, especially amongst trans women of color. They're also the most likely to not be hired for a job based on their gender identity. Further perpetuating the trans stigma are simple things like refusing to use proper pronouns or denying trans people access to the bathrooms that conform with their gender identity. From semantics to crime, trans people currently get the short end of the equality stick, and both allies and the LGBTQ+ community have a responsibility to end that.

Ending Bi/Pan Erasure
When we talk about the LGBTQ+ community, sometimes we ignore the "B" and pretend it doesn't exist (And we almost always erase the "P," since the whole acronym is LGBTQPIA). As comfortable as people may be with homosexuality and heterosexuality, we have a startling phobia of non-monosexuality. In this way, we deny people a portion of their identity. The Bi and Pan community is often labeled as indecisive, sexually greedy, and selfish. Bi and Pan are real identities, and in erasing them from our discussions of the LGBTQ+ community, we're erasing any chance of sexual freedom and of breaking the mono sexual standard.

Increasing Economic and Racial Inclusivity in the LGBTQ+ Community
The people who have access to proper health care, good jobs, and yeah, marriage, tend to be white, middle to upper middle class queers. The people left behind? Anyone who's not white and rich. When we exclude intersectionality from our discussions of LGBTQ+ issues, we're excluding the majority of the LGBTQ+ community whatever changes we make ultimately will still exclude those people. This is one of the fatal flaws of the LGBTQ+ movement.

Look, we've made significant progress, but we're not done fighting. It's the responsibility of allies, queer people, and everyone in between to keep fighting for these rights. I have faith in the us as a community because after all, if love won on one day, why can't love win everyday?

Summer Fashion

So it's summer, and while you may want to roll out of bed and just walk around in a swimsuit all day, unfortunately society deems that we must look presentable when out in public. Bummer.

As much as I love fashion, I hate getting dressed in the summer. My style tends to be really layered, and in the summer less layers is probably better. As a result, I often hit a summer style roadblock. I just hate how sticky and humid I feel in pretty much everything.

I decided to come up with four functional summer looks that I actually enjoyed wearing and that didn't make me look like a hot mess (pun fully intended). Hopefully these are a good source of summer style inspo for you too!

LBD Lovin'

Dress: Target, Denim Jacket: Levi's

Necklace: Urban Outfitters, Earings: Pitaya

Shoes: Union Bay

 Who doesn't love an LBD? A nice swingy one for summer is the perfect way to both stay cool while maintaining the ultimate chill factor (yes another highly intended bad pun).

Print on Print on Print

Shirt: Gap, Shorts: Anthropologie, Head Scarf: Thrifted

Ring: Madewell

Shoes: Cynthia Rowley

 First how all, how cute is this parrot wall? I absolutely love it! It's part of a charming used book store that I frequent. This is a bit of an eclectic outfit, combining different patterns. The head scarf keeps my hair out of my face and the light, silk shirt from gap is super breathable and perfect for a summer evening out. Plus, the funky aquatic printed shorts bring their own uniqueness to the mix.

Purple Daze

Denim Jacket: Same as above, Skirt: Thrifted, Shirt: Gap

Earings: Art Festival

Shoes: New Balance

  Midi skirts are coming back, and they're especially trendy with a cute pair of sneakers. I think some of the quirkiest (and cheapest) midi skirts can be found at your local thrift shop, like the one I found above. My new New Balance 410s are my new favorite pair of shoes because they're so adorable but so freaking comfortable. Paired with a simple tee and skirt, it's an effortless look.

Breezy Cover

Jeans: Madewell, Shirt: Urban Outfitters

Shoes: Franchesca's

I know what you're thinking, how are you going to stay cool in the summer in jeans? Well, this outfit isn't intended for a 90 degree scorcher. For those milder 70 degree days or summer evenings, a pair of boyfriend jeans are the perfect way to cover up from mosquitos while letting your legs breath a little. Coupled with a white peasant blouse, you got yourself a nice summer outfit.

Those are the outfits I've planned out! Hope you like them! Tag your OOTD's with #theyouthemisms so that I can get a feel for your personal style!