Tuesday, July 7, 2015


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Masturdating (n.): the process of taking yourself out to do something nice and pleasing for yourself without the company or assistance of others.

Origins: mash-up of the words "masturbate" and "dating."

That's right. It's perfectly acceptable to do things alone, and actually enjoy them! Who would've thought that actually treating yourself well and with the love you'd treat an SO is okay?

I recently discovered the word masturdating while perusing the dark miasma that is the internet, and I learned that I was a serial masturdater! I've blogged about treating yo self before, but this is like the actual action of doing so. Masturdating is a great way to show yourself some love, clear your head, and also a way to go out and enjoy life without having to wait for anybody else. There's a play you want to see but your friends are busy? Treat yourself to a masturdate! Want to try a new sushi restaurant? Make it a masturdate! Here's a list of some of my favorite ways to masturdate that I think y'all should try.

Take yourself out to coffee
The simplest masturdate is the best masturdate. I like to frequent an independent local coffee shop, or if I really want to be alone, make my way to Chicago and find a cool new coffee shop there. I just bring along a good book, my moleskin, and some pens, and just sit and let my thoughts ruminate. It's a lovely time.

Go to an art museum
One of my biggest pet peeves with going to art museums with friends is that we all walk through the galleries at a different pace, so someone is always rushing me when I want to take my damn time looking at Magritte. So, I just started going to museums alone! This gives me the freedom to see what I want, when I want, and just enjoy the peaceful and quiet company of my friends Renoir and Botticelli. 

Go to the theater
Sometimes it's a lot easier to enjoy a play with no one whispering in your ear the whole time. Find some cheap tickets on a site like Hot Tix or whatnot and treat yourself to an evening at the theater! It's an opportunity to see the shop front theater company in action or see a musical before it heads to broadway.

Take a class or attend a lecture
I've done a whole range of classes on my own, whether it be a zine making class or a lecture on genome sequencing. Going out and learning a new skill or listening to a renowned speaker is a fun way to relax and broaden your horizons without being held back by uninterested friends.

These are just a few of my ideas for a good ole masturdate. What am I doing for my next masturdate? I don't know yet! Maybe I'll go try that cross-stitching class I've been eyeing for a while...

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